The Adventures of Raleigh: The Bird
Occurred January 8, 2011
Starring: Sarah Tenney, Raleigh, and The Bird
This morning I awoke to Raleigh freaking out downstairs. I first thought nothing of it because he was probably hungry. Which would make sense; he is a typical food obsessed dog. But, when I got downstairs I realized he was charging full speed at a bird who was repeatedly flying head first into the living room window. The only reason this poor bird wasn’t caught and eaten by Raleigh was because Raleigh would charge and get almost close enough to catch it and then get scared and run tail between his legs in the opposite direction until he got his courage back and then would charge again.
Why I didn’t videotape this I don’t know.
What I did do was get Raleigh into the laundry room and opened up all the doors in the house, but the bird just kept flying into the window repeatedly. So I did what any rational person would do… I threw dog toys close enough to it hoping to scare it away from the window and out the door.
Obviously this only scared the poor thing more BUT I did get it to fly away from the window- first into the ceiling, then into the wall, then into several different windows, then the kitchen cabinets (which are glass so maybe it thought they were windows), then back into the living room window. As it bashed its head into everything in the house it simultaneously pooped everywhere!
Okay so it was back to square one. As I pondered what in hell I was supposed to do next I took pictures of it- Why not right? Clearly he was going to stay for a bit since he didn’t understand the concept of doors…
I guess it got tired of running into the window because all of a sudden he just started flying around the house right over my head which made me scream and drop to the floor like I was being shot at. I am not even going to pretend I wasn’t scared of that thing; it gave me a whole new appreciation for the movie The Birds.
While I was ducking for cover he must have flown out because I couldn’t find him anywhere. I let Raleigh out and checked out the damage: bird poop everywhere including the furniture. Most of it was black with bits, and even whole, black berries in it, but some of the more liquid stains were red. It probably hurt itself while bashing its own head into the window. Okay so blood and berry poop, not too bad after the deer incident and it was out!
Or so I thought…
After cleaning up and scrubbing the furniture and closing all the doors Raleigh started freaking out again. Uh oh. And then came the bird flying around the house frantically again with Raleigh barking and chasing it.
Open went all the doors. To the laundry room went Raleigh. To suit up went Sarah.
Boots on, mom’s big puffy green coat on (you know the closest thing I had to armor), broom in one hand, tennis racquet in the other, and I was ready.
With Raleigh barking like a mad man from the laundry room as if cheering me on, I chased the bird around the house like a crazy person, ducking and covering my head with the tennis racquet and screaming every time it changed directions and flew over my head. If that wasn’t crazy enough, Raleigh broke out of the laundry room (I had put a baby gate across the door frame). So with a loud crash, Raleigh comes running top speed out of the laundry room, tongue out and barking which makes the bird freak out more and starts flying in circles around the house, crashing hysterically into walls and windows and furniture while pooping EVERYWHERE!
So now Raleigh and I are running all over the house chasing this thing, Raleigh still barking and I’ve still got the broom and tennis racquet, which I’m holding up over my head for protection while I run.
Seriously we need to set up cameras in our house.
Finally the bird flies out the DOOR!!! Halleluiah! I start jumping up and down and cheering and Raleigh jumps on me tackling me to the floor and stares down at me as if to say, “can we do that again?”
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